Author Topic: Niner Times: In Defense of Judy Rose  (Read 1053 times)

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on: December 05, 2017, 03:53:34 pm
Another Charlotte 49er football season ends in disappointment. Par for the course, I suppose. However, there is room for much optimism and glee- we broke our own record for losses in a single-season, arduously falling an impressive eleven times out of twelve contests. Truly a remarkable feat. Some smart guy somewhere infamously coined that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. How prophetic, given this is the fifth straight season in which we have accrued more losses than wins. I do not intend to make light of our success at losing. I understand that our football program is relatively young, and making the transition from the FCS to the Conference USA is a tough go. It takes years for programs to develop. Rome was not built in a day. But perhaps the empire did have something, anything, to show for after five years since its birth? Maybe? Hopefully? Luckily, winning football games is a lot simpler than imperial dominance. Since weíre cranking out blanks, I thought I might offer my advice for free, because Iím an altruist.

To begin, I do not blame the UNCC Athletic Director for her unwillingness to let our football coach go. Despite a staggering 29-percent winning record, our coach has been with the program from its humble beginning. I donít think such a record stems from a lack of effort. Heís a system guy with proven loyalty. That should count for something. Nonetheless, some radical changes are necessary if we are to see the fruits of our labor materialize. My perfect recommendations are as follows: Donít hire Greg Schiano, Since the Chancellor is a killjoy who mandates Friday classes, why donít we just make the football games mandatory as well. The product on the field is bound to improve if the entire student body and their mother is suffering alongside in the stadium. Run the ball, Thatís it. Pound the rock. Knead the dough. Literally donít do anything on offense but run the ball. Extend an offer to Greg Olsenís other brother. No one wants to see that; more importantly, no one wants to tackle that, save for perhaps the west coast teams.

Get me Roger Stone.Choose all that apply. If none of the above sound commonsense enough, I will graciously accept the position as the new head football coach for the UNCC 49ers. I will even take a pay-cut to make this happen because Iím such a nice guy. Think about it. If Rose is so hell-bent on keeping a man with deep ties to the school as the coach, I can think of no better person than myself. Iíve attended this university for longer than Iíd like to admit. Iíve paid my dues to this institution. Iím a real system guy. Rather than search the market for a proven gun-for-hire, promote someone from within the system. This is of course not to say that I can guarantee winning seasons in the future. Far from it. If its unyielding loyalty to the program you want, then its unyielding loyalty youíll get, be it damned if we actually win or not. Weíve got nowhere to go but up. And if I do keep in the spirit of losing, at least Iím doing it cheaper than any professional. Because if weíre going to lose anyway, shouldnít we at least be practical and cost-oriented about it? So please, Ms. Rose, shoot me an email. Iíll be waiting.

Put up by the Niner Times before being removed. #FireJudyRose


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Reply #1 on: December 05, 2017, 05:01:11 pm
What is this crap?  I hate that everyone does not know the whole story of why we want her gone and all the underlying issues.


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Reply #2 on: December 05, 2017, 05:30:30 pm
.....da fuq did I just read?


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Reply #3 on: December 05, 2017, 05:37:20 pm
Read it twice to try and make sense of this.


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Reply #4 on: December 05, 2017, 09:03:04 pm
I think this guy is joking and is actually against Judy, from what I read.


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Reply #5 on: December 05, 2017, 09:16:57 pm
I think this guy is joking and is actually against Judy, from what I read.

This. It's all, tongue and cheek. Pretty good, actually, in my opinion.


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Reply #6 on: December 06, 2017, 08:33:38 am
Niner Times removed it?  Censorship.  It should run in the print edition.
CHP sold out.  I declare Nick McEntyre our Chancellor-In-Exile!

JFelt quote about CHP.  "Stake your claim.  As long as UNC-CH doesn't want it first."

Taylor Swift, Jewel, Katy Perry, SE Cupp, Jennifer Garner, Gwen Stefani, Jessica Alba, & Eva Mendes are my Baby Mama's.


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